Sunday, 29 December 2013

As The Nightmare Fades; Landing Paws First

Tomorrow will be the start of the second week since I moved to Germany and it's been interesting time. The business with the apartment I had rented was very unfortunate, but based on the last communication it seems like I'll get out of that without too much trouble. Meanwhile I have found temporary lodgings at the apartment of a student my colleague knows via the local hackerspace in Karlsruhe. Then early next month I'll be moving to another colleague's place, where I can make use of her guest room until I'll have found a suitable house to rent. The place I'll be looking in is the west side of the river the Rhein, opposite of Karlsruhe.

As a semblance of normality returns to my life this week and I find myself surrounded by people who wish to help me as well as new friends, I find that any sense of homesickness for the Netherlands is rapidly vanishing. Now that I'm well on my way with setting up my life here in Germany, it seems as though the only strong memories I have of the Netherlands involve the seeds for nightmares. Such as my nightmare last night of being at the medical disciplinary hearing in Amsterdam again, but getting ridiculed and dismissed instead of being treated properly.

It's so hard to continue to think of my time in the Netherlands - all three decades of them - as being anything but a dream, much as I described in my previous 'midsummer night's dream' post. It's just a very strong nightmare which I have trouble shaking off as it keeps lingering on the boundaries of my consciousness. Maybe it's how my mind insists on dealing with the traumas I have suffered at the hands of the institute Netherlands: by pushing it away to somewhere safe for dealing with at a later point.

Yesterday I went with the student at whose place I'm currently staying to the local glider club, where they're doing winter-time maintenance on their glider planes. Beyond the joys of being able to work in a proper workshop with my hands again as I'm used to from growing up on a farm, it also allowed me to experience being in a more rural environment again. Just the sheer lack of constant artificial noises and sounds alone, combined with the space confirmed for me that it's best for me to find somewhere quiet to live and avoid the cities altogether. As long as proper internet and the usual supermarkets etc. are within easy reach, this should suit me just fine.

Meanwhile I'm also practicing my German some with this student, which is really quite fun. I do not have much trouble understanding German unless it's spoken very quickly and multiple people at once, but speaking it is something I'm still pretty shy about as I'm never happy to sound like 'that foreigner'. Practicing it with someone you know won't make fun of you or look weird when you make a mistake does make this a lot easier, for sure.

Next up is thus finding a place, getting health insurance again, visiting the surgeon and hopefully get a surgery date set. That should wrap up the 'landing paws first' part of my time in Germany. Here's to hoping it goes off without a hitch from here.


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