Wednesday, 26 September 2012

Dolhuys Exposition: Corruption Exposed

During the past seven and a half years I have had to deal with a lot of strange events which even to someone who isn't paranoid would suggest some kind of conspiracy. With the major discrepancy between the conclusions by Dutch and German physicians, it was beyond obvious that something rather unpleasant and illegal was going on. Yesterday this charade continued when I visited the opening of the exposition 'Ik M/V' ('Me M/F') at the Dutch museum 'Het Dolhuys' in Haarlem.

For those who haven't been following along or forgot, allow me to summarize things. About half a year ago I got contacted by the curator of 'Het Dolhuys' with the question of whether I wanted to have my story featured in this upcoming exposition. I agreed to it, and for the next months I'd be cooperating with the museum on getting them various materials, images, videos and more. The curator ensured me that my entire story would be featured, with relevant excerpts from the media and from my site. I figured it'd be nice exposure for my story. Then, September the 25th the opening of the exposition took place. I was present together with my girlfriend.

Since it was supposed to be an exposition about the blurry lines between male and female it was no surprise to me that the room was filled with transsexuals and transvestites. A bit of a shock was seeing the coordinator of the VUmc gender team there as well: Jos Megens, someone I hadn't seen since early 2007 and who is one of those at that hospital who made my life hell for nearly five years. This already upset me a bit. After about half an hour of speeches by the director of the museum, a transsexual and a transvestite the exposition was opened. My girlfriend and I decided to allow the others to walk through it first instead of diving head-first into the throng.

Looking at a sign next to the entrance to the exposition we could see clearly that the VUmc hospital's gender team was majorly involved in the exposition, with both this Megens guy and the leader of the VUmc gender team, Peggy Cohen-Kettenis, listed. The latter is also one of the people I'm suing via my lawyer at the moment. I think I was feeling pretty estranged at that point. Nothing about the experience was really like how I had imagined it.

Crowding into the small exposition room, we managed to walk around and see the exposition. It soon became clear that everything about me in the exposition was on a small table in the center of the room, which was the only section about intersex. Over half the table was taken up by historic material of other intersex people in Dutch history, the rest was the newspaper article about me which appeared in NRC Handelsblad, my old and new passport scans and an old school ID card. The card next to it listed the most basic of summaries about me. The larger card about intersex just said that some people are born with ambiguous genitals and that this is corrected by children. Nothing about the controversy surrounding intersex conditions.

I was feeling pretty nauseous at this point. This small selection of material was all they had bothered to put into the exposition? They had forgotten all about the major controversy surrounding intersex conditions and the countless forced surgeries, of which one or more take place in the Netherlands alone every single day? After making a single round through the room I simply walked out of it and my girlfriend and I made our way outside. After a brief moment I expressed my disappointment to her and we decided to go home again.

The involvement of the VUmc's gender team is something I could have expected, but which I definitely expected the curator, Esther Vossen, to inform me about, since the NRC article I mentioned earlier and much more material on my site and in the media notes that the VUmc has treated me horribly. I also know from experience and from things I have been told by mostly transsexuals who have been patients at the VUmc's gender team that this collection of individuals who call themselves physicians and transsexual/intersex experts shouldn't even have a license to carry out their profession.

It honestly doesn't surprise me that with the VUmc's involvement this exposition turned into some kind of 'happy-fun' thing without any criticism on any practices by physicians, let alone Dutch physicians. In that regard it is positive that the NRC article about my story is part of the exposition as it does detail the horrible incompetence and - dare I say - evil practiced by Dutch physicians against intersex individuals. After having personally witnessed the horrible corruption, evil and intent to exterminate intersex conditions by Dutch physicians, psychologists and politicians first-hand during many years, yesterday's experience was essentially a confirmation that nothing has changed yet and that much more is needed to bring down the big, bad institutions such as the VUmc's gender team, but also essentially anyone in the medical, general healthcare or political world who plays some role in suppressing the human rights of intersex individuals.

I feel now more than ever that it will take a major lawsuit against most Dutch hospitals regarding my treatment by them and international attention/outrage to make some kind of dent into this system of corruption and evil. The upcoming broadcast of TLC's 'TLC About...' with my story being featured in the third episode 'Taboo' should accomplish this to some extent as well, being an international documentary and from what I have seen and heard so far a very serious, in-depth take on what really happened and still has to change. After talking with the producer of the TLC show for a while I have a very good feeling about it.

As an addendum, while writing this blog article I got a response from the museum's curator, Esther Vossen, to the email I sent her yesterday in which I expressed my displeasure at the exposition using about the same points as above. She tried to defend the exposition by saying that there's more material in the exposition by people who promote diversity within gender roles and thus it's not as bad as I make it seem like. She fully dodges the reason why I wasn't told about the VUmc's involvement, or the presence of someone from the same gender team which was involved in making my life hell for so long.

Here's to a very good TLC show. Please let me know the broadcast dates for your region for the third episode 'Taboo' so that I can list them here. Thank you.


Thursday, 20 September 2012

Financial, Legal And Other Woes

People often use the term 'turned upside-down' when describing big changes in their life. I would prefer the term 'shifted into another dimension' in my own case. Many elements are still familiar in it, and yet most of it has changed completely. Between living together with a girlfriend who is also my very first real relationship, having my first proper job, dealing with so many responsibilities and chasing after lazy companies and the like, it's as though in a few brief weeks everything I knew got wiped out and replaced with something entirely different.

Not to say that it isn't pleasant in some ways, I do like the independence and such, yet it's somewhat scary to not really have much of a backup in case things go south. Instead of the quiet retreat I hoped to find I now find myself rushing instead from place to place to fix and manage things. I haven't called this many companies and other instances in the previous years as I have in the past week.

Among the recent successes there is having my insurance company Unive finally contacting the German clinic where I got my surgery and telling them to send the bill directly so that it can get paid. This after getting two reminders from said clinic. Hopefully that's sorted now. Another success is having the kitchen drain unclogged today after reminding the business (Van der Linde) renting us this place of their responsibilities. It took a call to their HQ and hinting at legal action to make them fix things.

The coming month things are going to exceedingly tight financially again. As the moving cost much more than estimated (nearly twice...) and combined with the rent, my next paycheck will be spent almost completely before the month starts. I'm really grateful that I got a few dozen Euro in donations so far to help bridge this financial gap. I'm not sure how I'll manage next month financially, but I'll see. It still sucks that even with a well-paying job I can get into a tight spot like this. Not having any financial reserves to begin with probably plays a major role.

Next week Tuesday (25th of September) the Dolhuys in Haarlem, the Netherlands, will open the exposition 'Ik, M/V' (, which will feature audio, video and text-based material about me, among others. The topic is the exploration of everything between male and female. I'll be there during the opening, starting at 5 PM.

Meanwhile legal matters proceed, with the hearing against the VUmc hospital still pending, the hearing against insurance company Unive coming up soon as well, and a hearing involving the vandalism case against me next month. The first two I'm awaiting the hearing dates on, for the latter I'm working with my psychotherapist on to compile a statement showing that the consistent psychological abuse by Dutch hospitals and psychologists, combined with the arrogant attitude and disregard for responsibilities displayed by the family doctor's practice in Rijssen's Medisch Centrum, led to the triggering of my PTSD and DID, both the culmination of severe traumas inflicted upon me. The resulting damage caused by the violent personality fragment which took control was therefore not my fault, but that of the Dutch healthcare in general and this particular family doctor's personnel especially. I'll be blogging about how these cases proceed.

Anyway, it's past midnight again, and tomorrow I have another bug-hunting session at my work. Got to make a good impression for the contract extension at the end of next month :)


Thursday, 13 September 2012

First Hearing In Case Against VUmc Hospital And More

A number of things are happening these days, the most interesting one being that I heard from my lawyer Yme Drost that the VUmc hospital has finally provided their answer to my list of accusations and that a hearing at which I will be present will be scheduled soon. Related to this, next month I'll also have the hearing in the case against me involving vandalism. This I talked about before: it's essentially directly related to the case against the VUmc and how they and other Dutch hospitals treated me. The years of mental and psychological abuse which culminated in first a suicide attempt, and then me encountering first a Christian family doctor refusing me as a patient for being intersex, and then a family doctor who ignored my background and refused proper treatment. On a happier note, Discovery Channel/TLC is broadcasting the episode of 'TLC About...' featuring me on October 18th here in the Netherlands.

Further I have communicated a bit more with my insurance company, Unive, regarding the outstanding bill with the German clinic for the surgery last year. Today they finally sent me a message informing me that they will be setting things straight with the clinic regarding the payment. Hopefully they'll get it fixed now. Against Unive I already have one legal case in progress regarding their refusal to fully cover the electrolysis therapy I am forced to undergo due to excess hair growth on my face as a result of the elevated testosterone level I had due to being intersex.

I'm feeling somewhat apprehensive regarding the vandalism case. I know I wasn't in a state of mind where I could have consciously interfered and refrained from using any violence, but to actually prove that is going to be hard. Fortunately my psychotherapist is fully on my side on this matter and we're working on a document featuring his statement reinforcing this and hopefully leading to the judge concluding the same. My mother is also going to be a witness during the hearing.

The broadcast of the TLC show's episode is making me feel pretty happy, I guess. It's the first international broadcast of my story, and on a serious channel as well. As said the broadcast of the episode in question (third episode, titled 'Taboo') will be broadcast in the Netherlands on October 18th. I talked with the producer of the show yesterday in person and she was genuinely interested in my story. Only negative point is that I likely won't get permission from Discovery Channel to feature the fragment with me in it on my site. They seem pretty reluctant to give that kind of permission. Interesting point is that it'll be the first time as well that people will get to see my girlfriend as she's featured in the show as well :)

Finally the hearing in the case against the VUmc hospital is a very good thing. The VUmc has managed to delay things by a month by taking much longer to provide an answer to the accusations. Now that the hearing will be scheduled soon I'm feeling quite relieved. As soon as I have a date for the hearing I will be able to focus a bit more on it, but I'm already glad that things are moving forward again.


Monday, 3 September 2012

Still Looking For That Lightness In Life

Tomorrow is my birthday. A while ago I thought that this birthday would be the first one in a long time when I would be somewhat happy again, and able to celebrate it. Now that it's upon me I can see how many things are still left to be taken care of. As far as I can tell at this point I'll have spent every year from my 21st year up till today, eight years later, on battling the Dutch medical, political and other major systems. Now, at this point, I still have a number of major legal cases to deal with which will easily last me into my early thirties and possibly beyond. It makes me wonder when I'll truly have put behind me this horror inflicted upon me by the Dutch state and its systems for having been born different.

Today I learned more about the legal case against me, the one resulting from a family doctor in Rijssen neglecting their duty when they promised to prepare a reference to a specialist and failed to do so during a week. That was a few months after my suicide attempt and I was desperate to get some medical help after over six years of Dutch physicians failing to provide any help or answers. Yet this last doctor failed to heed my request or my desperate warnings about my pre-existing post-traumatic stress disorder and possible dissociative identity disorder, triggering a black-out and the surfacing of a violent personality fragment. You can find the details of that event here:

In short, a hearing was scheduled this week, but got cancelled because the persecutor ('OM') failed to properly formulate the case, forgetting the actual charge. This has led to the hearing getting postponed until a later date. I now have to get a letter from my psychotherapist indicating my unstable emotional state and the PTSD and DID conditions I likely had at that time. This in addition to the general stress I was experiencing after six years of getting batted around by Dutch physicians and psychologists. This all is rather frustrating, both because it is taking so long, and because I may end up with a conviction despite being the clear victim in this case. I'll therefore not accept any kind of ruling which will leave me with a criminal record.

To be clear, I do accept that I destroyed those glass items. I do accept that it was this body which did it. I do however not accept that it was a rational, conscious decision in any shape or form, and was brought on by the actions of the family doctor at the medical center in Rijssen. It was the culmination of six years of severe mental and psychological abuse by physicians. To me it was a continuous nightmare, and that event a part of the same nightmare. It's not a sole occurrence, but the inevitable conclusion of the abuse I suffered.

Moving on, things in general are slowly improving, though it's always hard to start with a first place of your own. So many things to buy and so many things to organize. There's also the inevitable lack of maintenance at a rental place, meaning lots of phone calls before things get fixed. It's unneeded and annoying, but ah well.

Another major negative point at this stage involves both my girlfriend and myself. Her family in short is the type you'd rather wish to avoid, with unpleasant connections in the shady parts of society and a generally twisted sense of 'family'. Due to this she has decided to break with them, which wasn't easy. Yet even after moving away from that place where they live, they continue to bother her, by calling and messaging her. This is more than just unpleasant for both her and me. This will probably mean that more legal matters will be started soon. At this rather we may as well start our own law office :)