Friday, 11 July 2008

Quick Update...

Yesterday I went to the endocrinologist here at the Flevo hospital. It was quite a nice man who actually seemed to consider me to be a person. Though he admitted that he could not help me directly, he would find someone for me who could and call me back in 2 weeks time. As an aside it turned out that that my prolactin level was totally back to normal. No worries there, apparently.

Today I got a phone call from this endocrinologist, informing me that he had found someone, an endocrinologist at the AMC in Amsterdam, which is the other big hospital in that city. He had made an appointment for me with that person on the 24th this month, asked me to pick up some background information and such at the Flevo hospital and also asked me to inform this endocrinologist at the AMC to relay any news back to him. Two thoughts: first time a doctor did something way before he had to, and geez, this'll be the 7th hospital I'll visit regarding this IS matter.

When I was at the beauty salon earlier today to get zapped again (also rendering me totally broke again...), the woman treating me suggested that I should write to a public TV broadcaster here as they have some shows which focus on medical blunders and such. I sent them an email and hope to hear more of this next week.

I'm also considering asking for help on websites like Though many people warn me that it might be a mistake to seek publicity, I feel that it is necessary for me to keep my sanity. After 3.5 years filled with the worst types of mental abuse including brainwashing and incredible uncertainty, I have lost the concept of what even an emotional buffer might be. All day long I have this head-ache like feeling, pressing down on me, accompanied by sudden outbursts of intense sadness and anger as well as regular thoughts about suicide. It's the most terrible feeling in the entire world to want to live so badly, yet crave for release from this nightmare through whatever means...


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