Wednesday, 13 April 2011

The Illusion Of Help

The past few months I have spent quite a bit of time on forums and IRC channels where people on the autistic spectrum gather, in particular those with Asperger's. I can only say that what I have heard there has shocked me.

One thing in particular irks me beyond comprehension, that of how these people have been suckered into believing that there is somehow something wrong with them, and that they need a diagnosis and therapy. That they are the ones who need help. Let me review the facts about Asperger in particular.

Aspies, as they are commonly called, are characterized by a higher than average intelligence, a strong focus on intellect over emotions, enjoy analyzing and solving problems and have very strong empathy. They generally end up becoming scientists, or somehow involved in with technology. Areas where they can apply their skills to their utmost, as well as avoid the rest of the world.

'Normal' people, or Neuro-Typicals (NTs) as they're officially called, are in short impulsive, irrational, highly emotional and prone to poor decisions. They are highly emotional, with a strong preference for an emotionally-charged way of reasoning. They have quite poor analytical abilities and problem-solving skills. Their ability to empathize with others is hampered by their strong emotions.

Just looking at this comparison, it seems logical to suggest that the former category are normal, well-adjusted individuals, whereas the second category are borderline psychotics, in need of adjustment therapy and counseling to help them fit into society. This essentially sums up why I think it is ridiculous that Aspies are treated the way they are. They are normal, nice, intelligent and kind. Even if they end up saying something not nice to another person, they'll realize this and apologize, not push it away.

Of course, what is or isn't an Aspie is hardly a strict definition. In general it are people who fit the above criteria, as well as some or most of those in DSM-IV, the official standard in diagnosing psychological conditions and kind. I have found that no Aspie is alike, but that they do broadly share those characteristics. The 'intellect before emotion' criteria seems to be the most prevalent.

This way of thinking has led me to refuse to further have contact with psychologists and kin here in the Netherlands who were supposed to 'help' me with my 'Asperger's'. First of all I'm quite certain that my Asperger's was triggered or caused by the way my environment has treated me due to my intersexuality, by making it impossible to develop emotionally, and forcing me to use my intellect to survive. Secondly, what is causing my PTSD to trigger and me to feel uncomfortable, even frightened and uncertain to the point of feeling terrorized is not something called Asperger's. What is causing this is how my environment is treating me.

There is nothing wrong with me. I'm a normal, kind, intelligent and well-adjusted person who wants no harm to befall to others, is more than willing to work towards the good of humankind and generally quite harmless. What isn't normal is how my insurance company for example refuses to pay for coverage for medical examinations in the USA which will hugely improve my quality of life.

What also isn't normal how this same insurance company is now lagging about two months behind on covering the costs I have made related to electrolysis therapy, something for which my GP has provided an official request and which they are thus bound to cover. There is no reasoning with this company, and it's hugely frustrating.

Something similar with government instances. I requested a form of welfare called the Bbz which is aimed at entrepreneurs and which I have had before, until last year September. I requested it on January 19th, and now nearly 3 months later it still hasn't been officially approved. Over two months ago I heard from the guy who came to look over my administration and work on the TileWars game so far that he'd recommend it'd be approved for 6 months. It's now 3 months later or half of that period during which I was supposed to receive welfare, and I haven't received a single cent yet.

There is rhyme nor reason to these systems. It's rules and regulations which are applied haphazardly, there is no empathy, no efficiency. In many ways it reminds me of the bureaucracy scenes from the movie Idiocracy, which really isn't a flattering comparison, believe me. They do not wish to help me. They just want to follow the tracks which have been laid out for them.

My plan for the coming weeks and months now looks something like this: trying to somehow finance the whole John Hopkins Medical undertaking, assume that they'll want to examine me in person because they are competent and thorough. With that all arranged and settled and with possibly a surgery performed, I'll continue working on my finances, with hopefully a game or two published from which I can draw funds.

Another big wish of mine is to leave this country forever. Hearing others who have already migrated talking about how they'd never want to return and how cold and uncaring the Netherlands is, it just makes me realize even more how there is nothing for me in this country. The hospitals are worthless, even harmful, as is the rest of the healthcare system. The bureaucracy is terrible and choking, making it altogether a horrible place to be, especially for someone in a fragile situation like me.

My current pick from possible destination countries is Australia. I know a fair number of people there, the climate is nice (in the right spots), it's near Asia which is a big bonus, they use 230VAC for their power grid like civilized countries and it's very welcoming towards immigrants and new businesses. In pretty much every way it's a perfect fit. The only thing holding me back at the moment is the funding.

In the end everything is about money...


No comments: