Just got the Grazia magazine in the mailbox. It is indeed number 42. What I find sloppy is that the 'Real Life' section on the cover mentions a quote from a certain Monique while this article doesn't appear in the magazine. I find it sloppy that they apparently forgot to change this. The article also got reduced to two pages from three, but it's further fine. I just wish they had fixed the cover. It's embarrassing for them and not so nice for me.
Yesterday I talked by email with a psychology student from Groningen who studies at the university there. She said to be shocked and amazed by the treatment I have received the past years, especially the ignorance I encountered among specialists. She will show the article to her friends and teachers. Today I'll email her a scanned in copy.
As for how I'm doing, not very well. Yesterday I was okay thanks to a sleeping pill which safely guided me through the night, but last night was terrible, with disturbing dreams and constantly waking up, at one point feeling downright terrified. Today I find that I can not concentrate at all on anything, even after a 2-hour nap. Breakfast and lunch made me both feel sick again.
The UMCG apparently doesn't it deem it important enough to reply to my emails once more, so I have no idea when I'll have that next appointment. Perhaps I should just stop caring. They'll only tell me that I'm crazy anyway like everyone before has.
Why can't I just bloody admit already that there is no life to live for me. I'm so stupid.