Not much to say, just that the past few days I have had this growing feeling of having gone past my emotional limits.
I can still somewhat deal with my intellectual capabilities and giftednes. It's never been easy, but with a more extroverted personality it could be an asset instead of a liability.
Intersexuality, however, is another matter entirely. It is clear that society doesn't accept or acknowledge it. That the medical world rather pretends it doesn't exist. All because it violates their very black and white view of humankind, with its male and female labels.
The result is that I am and will always be an outcast, someone who is at best tolerated. I have to endure this and have done so now for many years. However, I can't go on any longer. I don't belong anywhere. I'm a pariah.
I have been considering various methods of suicide, but it's hard to find one which just works. Maybe I'll just go for the overdose of sleeping tablets.
Living hurts. Being alone, being different, different interests, no interest for everything that is wrong about my body. Just vultures tearing off some yummy bits to then move on.
There's no joy left in this miserably existence. I really should just end it now.