Yet another installment in the case of the lawsuit which just won't go away. Two and a half years ago I lost control over myself when one of my Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) personality fragments took over control of my body. The result involved some broken glass and a lot of physical and psychological damage on my end: http://mayaposch.blogspot.com/2011/05/taking-nightmare-notch-further.html. Today I finally heard the verdict: guilty of willful vandalism but due to the preceding circumstances no punishment beyond having to pay thousands of Euros to the artist whose uninsured statues were also damaged.
As the district attorney put it, he could imagine me becoming extremely frustrated due to the trouble with the hospitals and such, but he still deemed that I did the vandalism on purpose while knowing very well what I was doing. The judge went along with this. Salient detail hereby is that this was based on the incomplete psychological report from an NFI psychologist who examined me in January of 2012 for one hour and even mentions in said report that it is incomplete. The complete report on the same topic by my own psychotherapist, who has been treating me since 2009 and who deemed the event a classical example of DID, was completely ignored. This even though both individuals have similar qualifications.
Obviously my lawyer (Robert Speijdel) and me decided to appeal this decision as only full acquittal of any prosecution would be morally acceptable. While I did go to the GP's office and must have destroyed the items in question, I had no thoughts of vengeance or plans to destroy anything. Until the assistant behind the counter uttered those unfortunate dismissive words - setting off the DID event - I just was there to get that referral letter from the GP. Nothing else. The rest is a blur like watching someone else committing acts of violence. Then the horror of clutching my bleeding hand whilst sitting in the midst of my own blood, then the horrific pain from metal cuffs biting into my wrists, my head repeatedly getting beaten into a car door, a cop sitting on top of me and me being forcefully undressed.
The first appeal hearing probably won't take place for another half year. Before that I will undergo a second opinion by a trusted and independent psychologist. Then finally I should be able to fully put this case behind me in the knowledge that justice has been served in this one case.
At the hearing today two journalists were also present, of RTV Oost and newspaper the Tubantia. They were there after my lawyer had mentioned the case to me. It's a pretty juicy case after all and deserving of the eye of the public. It shows how rare cases like mine are being treated by the Dutch justice system after all. On which note, the man representing the artist cornered me after the hearing, mentioning to me on an incessant tone how much the artist was suffering emotionally and that there should be a quick end to this case. All I could tell him was that we were all here to see justice served and thanked him for his understanding.
Next month there is the first public hearing against the VUmc gender team in Amsterdam by the disciplinary commission. It's definitely a case I'm looking forward to more than today's case. Even if it's really annoying to have to deal with no fewer than four legal cases, all of which determine my life to some extent for the coming months and years.
Maybe by the end of next year all of those cases will have been resolved. Justice is among the slowest things on this planet, probably right after glaciers.