Five years ago I found myself lying naked and bruised in a police cell, missing a large gap in my memory beyond some vague and very traumatising impressions of metal biting into my wrists, my head being slammed into solid objects and people grasping at me and yelling at me.
Apparently after years of psychological torture by Dutch physicians and psychologists, and a complete lack of help or understanding for my intersex condition, it seems that the rude, unwelcoming behaviour by this one last general physician's office had finally pushed me over the edge.
While the damage to the hallway was covered by insurance and all charges - including attempted manslaughter, etc. - were dropped, unfortunately the statues of a local artist had also been destroyed. Worse, she had never bothered to insure them, so as punishment I was punished, but also not punished by being forced to pay for the damage. Not punished, because officially in Dutch law someone cannot be punished if they are not charged with a crime (like me), yet I still got punished.
In light of the years of recovery following this incident, including the glass wounds to my hand, the bruised bone in my right knee, the swelling and peripheral neuropathy (damaged nerves) in my right leg and arm, it seemed rather cruel to assign me this punishment, especially with my psychotherapist supporting me. I was not, could not be made responsible for my actions, due to the years of severe psychological pressure and trauma leading up to the incident.
Today I then finally got the final amount which has to be paid (slightly increased, because I apparently I did not receive the first letter...). This after years of fruitless legal cases, trying to get this punishment thrown out, to no avail, only resulting in hefty lawyer costs.
Here's a photo of the letter in question:
3,433.63 Euro. This in light of me having exactly zero Euro to my name in early 2013, only being able to sustain myself now thanks to getting a job shortly afterwards. In addition to it being a hefty chunk of the tiny bit of money I have managed to save up so far, it also seems hugely unfair to be punished like this for something I could not have prevented, other maybe than by giving up on physicians or escaping the Netherlands sooner.
Because of this unfairness I have set up a donation campaign to see how many people would be willing to pitch in and lower the financial and emotional burden on me. So far over one and a half thousand Euro have been donated, still about one-thousand and nine-hundred Euro short of the punishment amount: https://www.gofundme.com/zufd2yh8
I do not expect people to take pity on me, or feel that they have to donate out of some kind of obligation. I only desire for people to put themselves in my situation and consider what they themselves would have done. Right after the incident and right now, at the end of a losing streak of legal appeals.
At least after I pay this amount I should finally be free of the Netherlands and all of its unfair, corrupted systems. It'll be with bitterness that I will close this chapter in my life, but I will be free at last.