Wednesday, 13 August 2008

Sceptical But Hopeful~

I'm feeling a bit tired as it's approaching midnight, but I'll try to give a summary of yesterday and today. Suffice it to say that it's been an eventful two days.

Yesterday I first went to have some blood taken for allergy tests, for my appointment with the lung doctor later this month. On my way back home I noticed how out of things I was as I nearly got hit by a car due to my own carelessness. Having made it back home, I ate a late breakfast and napped until around noon. I then waited until 1.30 PM to make the phone call to the UZ Gent in Belgium.

Instead of enjoying a waiting list-free medical world, I instead was told that the endocrinologist who had asked me to make an appointment with (Guy T'Sjoen) wouldn't have a free spot until December 1st. After this news I decided to see whether the urologist would be available sooner, but I didn't even get that far. As I was being redirected on the phone I ended up at the central point where a man asked me what he could do for me. As I was trying to explain that I wanted to be connected with the department for the urologist, he addressed me as 'sir'.

That was enough to make me just put down the phone and give into desperation yet again. The first half hour I cried uncontrollably and had to actively steer my thoughts away from suicide. I so wanted to put something sharp into abdomen, or disfigure or cut off my genitals, or anything else that would hurt a lot. At some point the pain becomes so much that every fiber in one's body begs for death with only the tiny voice of reason way in the back of one's mind there to keep one from ending it all.

I remained in bed until Pieter came home from work. By then I had calmed down a bit, and when I saw that T'Sjoen had responded to the email I had sent right after my phone call to the UZ Gent in which he told me that he might be able to adjust his agenda if I could get a quick appointment with the urologist, I felt somewhat positive again.

Today I had Pieter call for me as I didn't feel I was up to it anymore. First he called the Erasmus MC and was told there that the doctor who was supposed to email me when more was known about the MRI analysis was on vacation for another 2.5 weeks. Now I'll get a phone call from another doctor next week Tuesday with hopefully some results.

At the VUMC things were a bit more hectic. The German clinic didn't want to send the MRI images to the VUMC due to some German privacy laws or so. They had sent a fax to the VUMC telling them this, but this fax wasn't received. The VUMC sent a reminder to the clinic and called today. Meanwhile Pieter called the woman at the complaint commission who handles my case and asked for details. He was told to call the German clinic as well.

I don't know the exact details of how things went, but according to Pieter the German clinic will now send the MRI images to the VUMC and hopefully they'll receive them by next week. I hope I get some quick results from that, as well as the Erasmus. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.


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