Saturday, 25 December 2010

Merry XMas

Nearing the end of this year and I'm beyond and sick of tired of: disappointments, getting harassed and falsely accused, emotions and feelings, people in general, losing friendships, having the Talk after a few dates, being lonely, being different, not knowing what I am, not having anyone care about my issues, searching for a new place, fearing getting kicked out of where I live, getting pressured into performing, not having a stable income, chasing dreams, being bitter, not having basic questions answered, thinking about suicide, thinking about euthanasia, being in pain, not seeing much of a future.

On the other hand I'm grateful for: learning to know more and more new people, being allowed to talk to Dutch politicians about the Dutch medical system, hopefully having a Dutch hospital take me seriously for a change.

I'm also grateful for being someone who: is always nice to those who deserve it, never insults or hurts anyone, has a very strong sense of justice, forgives easily, is intelligent, has a healthy body.

I hope that next year is going to be a heck of a lot more pleasant than 2010. My first priorities will be finding a new place to live before the end of January, preferably sooner, and to get a stable income. The latter will just take some more time and more work on our games; TileWars on the edge of being done, the sad thing is that a nearly finished game is as useful as one one didn't even start on yet. As for finding a place, I honestly do not have a clue, as in a perfect world I'd have the chance to get an income first, then look for a place to live.

At least I should have plenty of places to store my things when/if I end up living on the streets next month. Positive thinking.


Maya

3 comments:

Swift said...

I'm grateful for you.

Nighty Night said...

better that i gave you The Talk than fucked off without saying anything. it was difficult for me too, you know, but i wanted to do the right thing. just saying.

Maya Posch said...

I'm not blaming you, Nighty :) *hugs* I appreciate everything you have done and are still doing for me. Don't get me wrong. Absolutely no offence intended.

That said, it still hurted :P