Tuesday, 16 September 2008

Confusion...

I just got a call from doctor Schipper of the Erasmus MC. He told me that he didn't know anything about the MRI scan I had last week Thursday even though it was requested using his name. He also told me that he did have the reports from the proper images from Germany as well as from this last MRI scan. According to him on both of them nothing unusual is visible and thus I can not be intersexual.

Placed against the two MRI reports from Germany which state the opposite as well as my own experiences, these conclusions from the Erasmus MC seem ridiculous, but I don't know what I can do against it at this point. They don't want to help me anymore and now I fear that the VUMC will come with the same conclusions as the Erasmus, which'd mean no recognition, no surgery, no compensation for the past years of agony and above all no end to this everlasting nightmare.

What's going on? Why can't things work out for once? I don't know... I do fear, however, that even with the anti-depressants I'm taking now it's going to be incredibly though to merely keep existing the coming weeks or months...

One possible option I've left open is to go to a German hospital, but for that I'd need a lot of money. At points like this I'm just not sure why I'm going through this anymore. Am I really crazy? Am I really wrong? Did they lie to me in Germany? What did I see on my own MRI images? Again, am I crazy?

I don't know anymore...


Maya

1 comment:

Tania said...

Maya.. It's all in your head! Seriously! Why do you seem to think all the possible doctors are wrong? The alle examined you on their own medical reasons. They've tryed all different ways.
Maybe your just a slender guy, with female character. You don't like the way your penis looks.. well that doesnt mean that's you should rather be a girl..

Maybe they can do chimera resurch on you. When that doesnt help.. well it's in your mind only than.

Why do you think you get sick so easily? Maybe 'cause you never go outsite, only sitting in your room.
Why do you think you're feeling depressed? Maybe 'cause your sitting in your room with nothing to do, no responsibilities.. You don't have to get up for nothing.. Well sitting day by day in my room with nothing to do, no one to see, curtains closed would make me feel depressed as well!
You've got to much time to think girl!! Get a life, do something with it..

Don't let Pieter be responseble for everything so you can only sit in your room.. And let him earn money so you don't have to pay rent or groceries.. So you can have an other epilation session..

Don't you see it girlfriend? This will never change!

Get a grip, take a real job, be independent, earn your own money, move to germany, get an operation there..