Last week's setbacks have pretty much completely squashed any hope that I'll ever find out who and what I really am. On top of that I have found out how many people dislike, do not understand, or even outright hate me for not just accepting myself for what they think I am. It makes me not want to ask for help anymore, from regular people and medical people alike. I'll just get hurt anyway. Same thing with relationships.
All the 'advice' I got from my last topic on the Tweakers.net forum mostly included things like just accepting myself as probably being transsexual, just subjecting myself to the whims of the 'specialists' here, as well as other stupid things with no relevance or regard to my situation.
To give myself at least something to focus on I've decided that unless I receive some kind of positive news this week, I'll start researching options for suicide next week and execute it as soon as possible after that. I just can't find any joy in life any more, especially the past weeks everything has just turned grey and all I do and hear and see and feel hurts.
Unless something positive happens, this'll be my last post here. I don't give a damn whether people think I'm just looking for attention this way or so. F*** them. This is about myself, my pain and the only thing I can seemingly do about it. Life never meant anything to me anyway. So go on with your lives and forget about my whining and begging, just be glad I'm finally shutting up.