Saturday, 27 August 2011

Soon I'll Become Less Of A Man

After my last talk with my lawyer regarding the official gender change I wasn't sure how easy it would be to fulfill the one tricky requirement my lawyer couldn't do anything about on her own, namely proof of me being infertile as a male. This 'proof' turned out to basically result in a castration as the easiest and most pragmatic way. As it turned out, it was pragmatic enough to convince my current replacement family doctor.

The main arguments for getting a castration are that I have been taking testosterone blockers for over four and a half years now, something I can't keep up indefinitely, there's also the issue that it's the only good way to get my official gender changed and finally I do not really need them for anything, as I'm probably already infertile, and one of the testicles hasn't fully descended which means an increased cancer risk and has to be surgically treated.

On Monday I'll call my doctor's office to hear when the appointment at the nearby hospital is. It's a fairly simple procedure, akin to vasectomy [1]. However, instead of merely severing the vasa deferentia and leaving the testicles in place so as not to disturb their use in producing testosterone, with castration the testicles are removed completely. It's a procedure which can be completed under local anesthesia and take only about half an hour. Afterwards the patient can go home immediately.

One other thing I have requested is to have a biopsy performed on the testicles after extraction, so as to find out out of which tissues they're composed, which could give a further clue as to how my body is put together. I'll have to keep an eye on my hormone levels as well during the months after the procedure. It's hard to predict exactly how they'll change. I plan to stop with the testosterone blocker 1-2 weeks before the hormone levels get tested, if the testosterone level is still <0.7 nmol/L, it's fine and I can quit with taking them for good.

In theory my estrogen levels shouldn't change noticeably after the procedure. However, if the 'testicles' are in fact hybrid testicle/ovary-tissue,then I'll have to take more estradiol to compensate.

So, after the procedure has been performed, I'll let my lawyer know, so that she can get started on requesting my official gender change. Hopefully within a few months time I'll then have a more fitting official identity and made the first real move towards a body I won't have to feel conflicted about. Not conflicted in the sense that I might desire to become a 'regular' woman or so, but more in the sense of knowing whether what can be felt through the skin is truly a vagina or not, and whether I'm really an XX/XY chimera. Basic facts requiring basic methods of examination, so far denied for asinine reasons.

At the moment I'm feeling somewhat relieved at this progress, but also fearful that somehow it'll be denied again. The past nights I have slept quite poorly and have been haunted by nightmares. I'll be so relieved once this is all over and I can move on with the remaining items towards becoming a whole person.



No comments: