Friday, 24 February 2012
Not A Pittance Out Of Pity, But A Gift Out Of Admiration
First some updates. My lawyer, Yme Drost has informed me that the first US laboratory he contacted has informed him that they can not help with the DNA test for my case. He's awaiting the answer from a second US laboratory. The journalist has offered to contact one of the largest Dutch newspapers regarding the news article. I hope it gets published in there too, as it'd greatly help me cause.
Finally, I got what should be the last letter regarding the first welfare I was on. Basically I do not have to pay the money back as they have accepted my income statement for 2010. I'm hoping that I'll soon hear back from SKGZ on the coverage for the electrolysis therapy by my insurance company, hopefully with good news. It'd be nice to get back the 5,000 Euro they still owe me.
Moving on, regarding the news article publication and the likely subsequent media attention, people have suggested that I might get offered a job or similar as a result of said attention so that I can leave the Netherlands. Some said that it'd not be a good thing to accept a job offered as a result of what amounts to pity. I'd beg to differ with them on that notion. Wouldn't the offer in such a case be the result of admiration and the desire to assist? If people donate money to me, are they doing it out of pity? Discuss.
As a final item I'd like to touch upon something which I have talked about before. Today I discussed it again with my beautician. For a while now I have been wanting to go to a sauna or spa, as a way to confront myself with my body and learn that there's nothing wrong with it. Part of my namely strongly believes that because I am a freak that there is no way I can partake in such things.
I'd very much appreciate it if someone could help me with this, taking away the uncertainty about how to behave at such a place and offering emotional support as I'm confronted with lots of people being naked without there being anything sexual about it, just relaxing. Hopefully if nobody responds in a negative manner to me it might restore... something inside of me which I can feel isn't right yet.
Years ago I could feel it as well, although back then I interpreted it completely wrong as I was still suffering from the effects of getting raped and was going to partake in something which would just hurt me even more. I think that my current proposal is a far healthier one. I just need some support to take the step, like with almost everything in my life these days as I gradually rebuild it and myself.
Does wanting to help me mean acting out of pity? Or is it something else?