Tuesday, 2 June 2009

A Pale View Of Hills

Not much to report... I'm waiting for responses from Groningen (UMCG) and from Engel Vrouwe to see what I can expect from either of them. I have contacted two national broadcasters (VARA: 'Zembla', AVRO: 'Vinger aan de pols') to learn whether they might be interested in my case for one of their shows. Not expecting anything, been disappointed too often already to hope for anything.

Anyway, I went to the gym on Saturday and yesterday. I talked a bit with my gym girl about my situation. She can accept that me pursuing acknowledgement and help from doctors isn't merely to get the facts about my body, something few people seem to deem relevant for some reason, but that to get my official name and gender changed requires a doctor to give permission. I'll never want to live as a guy, have never really made the attempt to do so any time during my life, and thus it's only reasonable to have my official identity match my desired identity as closely as possible.

I guess I'll have to ask 'gym girl's' permission to use her real name on my blog or a nickname or so to make life easier for me and you, my dear reader :)

Moving on, the sleeping pill I had last night was awesome in its suddenly taking effect. One moment I was chatting a bit on IRC, then within a second I just lost my ability to focus my eyes properly, let alone think straight. I don't recall how I got downstairs from the computer room to my bed or got out of my clothes. I recall struggling to read a chapter in my current book ('Passage to Dawn', R.A. Salvatore), putting the book away and probably falling asleep really quickly afterwards.

Right now I'm experiencing the 'flat' mood common to using a sleeping pill. It's kind of comfortable, as it takes out the highs and lows in my emotional state, leaving me more focused on things which matter, like the pile of work I have ahead of me this week.

First there is the site I have to finish for Jan, then this mysterious Nyanko Net project, plus Trevor will finish the game engine tools this week and I'm starting today on writing the initial game code. I can't wait to see the intro animation for our NyanKana: Kana & Kanji Explored (KKE) game :) of course, it'll also be a painful reminder that we still haven't found an audio guy :P

The title of this blog entry refers to the title of one of my favourite books by Ishiguro Kazuo ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kazuo_Ishiguro ), my favourite book being his 'An Artist of a Floating World', which is one of the few books I have actually bought and which I treasure like no other book. When I first read it, during high school, I had to read the book again a week later, just because it was so absolutely beautiful, with me even shedding a few tears at the end. With Ishiguro's books it is often hard to put down exactly what is beautiful about it... I'd say it's mostly in the atmosphere his stories create rather than through any specific elements in them. Definitely a recommended read :)


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