Saturday, 27 June 2009

Who The Hell Cares Anyway

First of all, I noticed I forgot to upload the actual PDF files of the irregularities report I put online yesterday. My apologies for that. Further, after a report from a reader about the embedded document not showing up, instead display an error message, I decided to investigate the matter and quickly realized that the issue is with Internet Explorer prior to version 8 (the latest). Its implementation of the HTML object tag does not support embedding pages, only plug-ins and applets. Internet Explorer 8 fixes this, though: http://www.howtocreate.co.uk/wrongWithIE/?chapter=Object+Tags

In other news, today after doing groceries Pieter and I went to visit the organ store again to further discuss the details of the Hauptwerk-based organ he's going to buy soon. We spent 3.5 hours there. On our way back to the car we stopped by a fast food place to get some ice cream.

At the moment I'm sitting here home alone with Pieter off to a barbecue with some friends he met via World of Warcraft. I just had a pizza for dinner.

I'm not feeling too great, though.

Seriously, I discover that I have been lied to and deceived about my own body by doctors and psychologists and nobody seems to give a damn. I don't know who I can and can not trust anymore. Who cares anyway, right? After all I'm just a freak nobody wants to have in society. That's why those people rather want to see me dead than admit that they were wrong. I keep thinking about ways to kill and maim them, make them suffer at least as much as they have made me suffer those last years.

Really, just forget it... I know I won't harm anyone, I know I can't commit suicide, I know I can't get out of this situation. I don't know why I have to die, just that everyone and everything is forcing me into that direction. And I'm so tired of fighting back against it all...


Maya

3 comments:

zakir ahmed said...

why , why do you let other people hurt you .. just don't care about the bad people .. this world has more number of bad people than good people .. just care about the good ones. you are an awesome person, just wait for the right time , i know its a long wait but we have to wait.

Don't worry all people are confused ..And take (good) care of your health.

Jan said...

To zakir ahmed: you say this world has more bad people than good people. Well, i don't agree with you. I think there are more good people but the bad ones get more attention becaue of their deeds.
I have been lucky, all the people around me are good and decent people.

To Maya: sorry that i'm using your blog for communicating with Zakir.
Will not make a habit of it.

zakir ahmed said...

". I think there are more good people but the bad ones get more attention because of their deeds."

yep i think you are right ..