Sunday, 16 March 2008

Losing Track~

Even after writing my last blog post I began to gradually feel better. The past days I've spent geeking out, meaning that I've been troubleshooting a few computers, who turned out to have bad capacitors on the mainboard, which I'll replace next week, as well as researching and programming. I haven't felt this productive or care-free in a long time. Seemingly what I went through on Thursday was a lot of the internal stress and agony I had built up for weeks coming out.

Not all is well, though. Especially on the subject of sexuality I seem to have decided that sexuality is a horrible, horrible thing and that sex in any shape or form is an abomination which should be banished from this world. I don't seem to recall a time when I thought this strongly about things before. Whether it's a good or a bad thing I don't know, but I do think that if I am to become more positive about sexuality I really need extensive guidance. Assuming sexuality really can be positive, that is.

Friday my physician responded by phone to my email I had sent to her, with the request to write me a referral letter for an endocrinologist. She said she'd have it ready by Monday, when I'll pick it up before I go to B's place. Yes, I have decided to continue teaching her web development despite my earlier objections. I'm still feeling somewhat curious about this mythical 'friendship' and wish to explore it some more, even though emotionally I seem to be heavily pre-occupied with myself most of the time.

Anyway, with some luck I'll have an appointment with an endocrinologist in Rotterdam, at the Erasmus MC. At the very least things can't go as badly as at the VUMC, right? It's kind of sad that my 100th post on this blog had to be a suicidal-thoughts-filled post, namely the previous post. Ah well.

The coming three days I'll be home-alone, as NG travels for his work to Italy early tomorrow morning. Good thing the neighbour is taking care of the dogs those days as else I'd have a problem tomorrow since else I'd have to go back home to let out the dogs around noon. This is one of the reasons why I would never want to have children :P


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