Wednesday, 13 May 2009

Hiding From Everything

My memory is a bit fuzzy on the past days, so excuse the brief summary. Friday I didn't go to the gym either due to feeling rather tired. Saturday I tried to work a bit on a programming project, but when things didn't really work out, I kept losing my temper, which is unusual for me. The rest of the weekend I planned to take it easy. Sunday morning we went swimming as usual. After over an hour at the pool, however, I broke down emotionally and found myself crying in public for the first time in as far as I can remember.

Monday I had the appointment with my GP. She doesn't want to request a chimera test directly, as she doesn't want to become too involved in my case. She will however contact the VUMC to inquire about their refusal to perform any tests, as well as about other specialists in the Netherlands who could help me. Finally she had the results of the blood test: all of my hormone levels are normal, meaning that I won't have to change my dose, nor has an imbalance affected my mood lately.

After I returned from the GP I went to take a nap around noon, which turned out to last five hours. After dinner I got an email from my gym girl. An hour later I was at the gym, where she told me that she only had like fifteen minutes before she had to return home again. We did end up talking that time. I'm still not sure how much she knows about me yet, so I kept things a bit neutral, but I did tell her to read at least the summary on my site.

Last night I slept okay, only waking up once during the night. After being out of bed for about two hours, though, I felt so sick physically that I had to return to home. I ended up sleeping another two hours. Right now it's approaching 3 PM and I feel extremely tired again, so I'll return to bed now.

See you all later.


No comments: