After a lot of thinking and some research I think I've come to a few conclusions: it is definitely possible that I have a prostate after all. I do not necessarily have to be intersexual in the most common terms. It is also possible that I don't have a vagina, but there's definitely something odd about my body, for which I hope to find an answer soon. First I have to wait for the reply from Germany, which'll at least allow me move beyond this point. If they do confirm the results of the first report, however, I will ask my insurance company whether I can receive surgery in Germany. The medical 'experts' here in the Netherlands can drop dead for all I care.
So what does this make me, then? Neither male nor female. My body seems to have lost all clues before I was even born and emotionally I feel much more comfortable just staying a really smart child like I always was. No need to deal with any icky grown-up emotional stuff which generally is silly beyond words, or plain incomprehensible. Just me, my work and friends as an optional extra.
About people urging me to receive counseling for my issues... I refuse to go to yet another psychologist in the hope that he or she may help me. Call me paranoid, but I do not believe that they can understand, let alone help me if even I can't grasp what my issues are. I might give it a whirl with the counselor I talked with before if my insurance company pays the bill. Else there's no way I'd cough up the money for it even if I had it. Why'd I have to pay to receive help for what appear to be rather serious issues? Utter stupidity.
In other news, I'm currently setting up the MayaPosch.com (and .org) site. It should be online in a rudimentary form by tomorrow. It'll contain not only my blog, but also a biography, an overview of some personal projects and a photo gallery. I hope you'll like it :)