Thanks for your phone call yesterday, but it wasn't enough, sadly.
Problem one is that I don't know how much money it'll cost me, as it'll be anywhere been $650 and infinite. This makes it impossible for me to know when I have begged enough money together.
Problem two is that I find it very hard to deal with this requirement to pay up front in order to receive help. I'm currently experiencing a PTSD attack because of it. I'm really struggling not to just take these unused MOAI anti-depressants I have lying around because it just hurts so much.
Isn't there anything you/JHM can do for me? Set some cap on the budget required? Payment installments? Paying for it out of some internal budget for research since my case is apparently so unique? Anything? I'm not sure I'll last more than a few days at this rate. It hurts so damn much.
I'd think that JHM would want to provide help first, and worry about money later considering its original mission when it was founded.
Please, I'm begging you and John Hopkins... please.. I'm beyond desperate
This is not a threat, but if nothing can be arranged, I will commit suicide. JHM is my last test to see whether life can be worth living. If it fails, I can only see it as definite proof that life doesn't want me and... anyway.