Friday, 13 May 2011

Why It Sucks To Be Intersexual

Got a phone call today from my insurance company. They won't provide full coverage for my electrolysis therapy because it's part of the base package, and it's the government which determines which goes into that. Not sure where to complain about it, but for now it seems that I'm out of over 3,500 Euro, which transsexuals do get covered by default. Pissed off? You bet. Kind of at a loss what to do to change this, though.

Further, I won't be staying at the hospital in Almelo for a few weeks as there is no place there for new patients. I talked about it with a GP earlier, and he was receptive to my suggestion of talking with a urologist from that same hospital, to address the medical case. Monday morning when I have an appointment with my own GP I should hear more about what has been discussed and or proposed. Hopefully they'll be willing to examine me, as there is a sense of urgency they should be aware of as well by now.

In this all there is the overwhelming feeling that there is nothing pleasant about being intersexual, that it is a curse which has made my life miserable from when I was a few years old and hasn't lessened in impact since that time. I need to solve it. I'm desperate. There is no other way out, even if one ignorant person after another keeps insisting I'm looking at this the wrong way. They do not see the past two decades and what has happened during that time. They do not know what it's like to have always lived with a body that is akin to a mechanical shell rather than a human body.

Please, do not judge what you do not understand. I try my best to not do the same. I expect the same from others. I have a body which does stuff, which makes me experience things and which responds in certain ways. And never once do I understand why. How am I supposed to feel at home in such a body? It's like living in a haunted house. You'd feel pretty creeped out after a while too and want to move away. Unfortunately I can not move, and the Ghostbusters are on an extended holiday it appears.

I indicated to the GP I talked to earlier that I'd want to have this case resolved within a month or so, as I can't take much longer. Hopefully it will work out. Hopefully they will treat me with respect, instead of calling me all kinds of names and insisting that I can't possibly be intersexual.

I want to live a happy life. I want to work on my games. I want to move to Australia. I want to make lots of friends. I want to make awesome products which'll help and amuse a lot of people. I want to discover and learn all that there is to learn and discover.

And then there is this body and this wall of medical specialists who are in my way. Excuse me, but could you please let me through?


1 comment:

pink and blue said...

i read you're article and liked it I am 13 years old my body is Not I.S, but i understand you're feelings but being is isn't all bad I wanted to be a girl but my body has been born a boy and being is you could chose you're path and i just want you to know that i will support you i don't have enough courage to actually do to much publicizing on the internet and i have yet to tell anyone what so ever offline i look up to you for being courageous