Friday, 8 October 2010

Dream: Tearing Off One's Skin

I don't recall the first dream I had, I just woke up after about three hours of sleep, feeling terrible, especially when I realized it was only a bit past 1 AM. I figured I would try to sleep some more, even though part of me rather wanted to get out of bed.

Falling asleep again, I first had a light-hearted-ish dream about meeting people, a restaurant (or cafe), me displaying my wit when I had some girl messing around, taking a boot of mine when I diverted my attention for a second, then running away without it when I went after her. Whenever she said something I made a comment which made the people in the restaurant laugh.

The second part took place in the living room of the house I grew up in, yet it was apparently Pieter's house, as I knew that he was taking the dogs for a walk while I was sitting on the couch, watching TV. What I recall of the living room layout was pretty much the way it always used to be in reality.

For some reason I began to feel really uncomfortable and at some point I found myself tearing at the skin of my right arm, just below the wrist. Somehow the skin had turned very dry, tough and loose, almost like tearing off pieces of cardboard. After tearing off about one-third of the skin on my lower right arm this way I realized what I was doing and crying a bit, I pushed the sleeve of the clothing I was wearing over the damaged area. It didn't bleed or anything, though the muscles were clearly visible.

While sitting there, waiting for Pieter to return home from his walk I noticed that the damaged area began to hurt a bit. I felt somewhat stupid for doing this to myself, but it also felt nice in a way, because it distracted me from the mental pain I felt as well.

Then I noticed Pieter returning home with the dogs, walking on our front lawn. I noticed there was another, older woman with him. She looked about sixty, with white hair, and she was also holding at least one leash with a dog on it. I felt ashamed for a moment because I remembered not having my pants fully on, and she might see it through the window as Pieter and she were standing right at the other side of it. I looked down at my jeans, but they were on properly.

Next Pieter was inside, I didn't see or hear any dogs. I couldn't speak at that point, much like during my paralyzation episodes. I just made noises which Pieter seemed to interpret correctly as to mean that there was something wrong with my right arm. He lifted it and looked at it. Pushing the sleeve back, I could see that while very scarred and scratched, the skin was unbroken and there was no blood. It looked pinkish and healthy. I didn't understand this.

Here I woke up, feeling very distraught and aware of something terrible which will happen soon. So much so that I'm typing this at close to 3 AM after waking up from the last dream at 2.25 AM. I'm not sure I'll be able to sleep more. Not with these nightmares waiting for me...


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