Wednesday, 20 October 2010

Life Just Did A Backflip

A few hours ago Pieter informed me that the UMCG hospital has decided that they do not wish to examine me any further. Concretely this means that there's nothing more I can gain from the healthcare system in the Netherlands. In short, after nearly six years of fighting the war is over, and I have lost. It's a very bitter realization that despite all of my efforts and those of people close to me nothing major has been accomplished during all these years. What did I do it for, really?

Adding to this, there's the distinct possibility that a US university or hospital - such as the John Hopkins university in Baltimore, Maryland - will accept me as a study object, to find the answers I'm looking for, which would be awesome. It would also mean that I would probably have to put the rest of my life on hold again. How do I organize my work (new laptop?) and what about the things I have established here in the Netherlands, like social contacts, media things and the lobbying efforts? What if I'm expected to stay in the US for 2 months or maybe longer? There's so much uncertainty there.

Finally I have signed an agreement with Pieter that I'll have relocated to another place by February next year, meaning that this TileWars game Trevor and I are working on at the moment has to be and complete, released and successful before I even go to the US, else I'll have a major issue when I return home again, as I won't have any.

It all kind of reminds me of my trip to Canada, a few years ago. I would have preferred to keep such an unpleasant situation from ever happening again. Maybe things won't turn out as bad, though. I just don't know. Everything should become clear next month, around or after the TV broadcast on the 9th of November.

All I wished for was a break. I guess nothing in my life will ever be easy...


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