Wednesday, 23 January 2008


Things went a tad differently from what I had anticipated yesterday, but in a positive way. First of all I woke up at around 7 this morning, which'd mean about 3 hours of sleep, so after spending a bit of time behind my notebook I went back to bed and slept past 1 PM. I guess I needed the sleep or something :)

On the housing front it looks like I've got someone to live together with me, if only in name, namely my younger brother, who studies in Enschede. Tomorrow I should get a call from the housing renting place for an intake talk. If they accept this arrangement, then I might have a place as early as next week.

In the legal case against the gender team some progress has been made as well. With the mail today the original MRI analysis report my mother had sent yesterday arrived, and a copy was made of it and added to the complaint letter. The thus assembled package was then mailed off. It feels rather good to finally have passed on this matter to someone else for a little while.

A PDF version of the MRI report was also mailed to my physician, at her own request. As a result she immediately contacted the gender team at the VUMC, who I have to call tomorrow to make an appointment with one of their endocrinologists, who specializes in intersexuality. I hope the appointment will be soon.

In a sense it's ironic that I end up again at the gender team, the same place I left nearly a year ago to start things for myself. Of course, it's also a quite delicate balance I have to deal with, due to the legal procedure which will start tomorrow when the complaint commission of the VUMC will receive my complaint. I must be careful to not do or say anything which might jeopardize the result of the investigation. Yet I must ensure that I receive the attention and care I deserve.

At any rate it'll be a somewhat surreal experience to visit the VUMC again. When I last left that place in February of 2007, I had just had the last laborous 'conversation' (monologue) with a psychologist, followed by false accusations and FUD (Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt) from their side, as well as me canceling all outstanding appointments and leaving the hospital. At that time I felt so great like I had never felt before. It felt as though it was the first time I had taken such an important decision in my own favour, instead of waiting for others to help me.

It doesn't feel like I've ended up full-circle. I'm no longer the person I was when I left that hospital, I've got physical proof that I was correct about my own body for all that time and that all those psychologists were delusional instead of me, and I've got more people backing me than ever before.

Who knows, in half a year or so this whole thing may seem like a bad dream.


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