Friday, 21 December 2007


Today I went to the German clinic for the MRI scan. I had to skip breakfast unfortunately as I was completely nauseous from the tension. It was quite a drive and searching and getting lost, but eventually we (my mother and I) arrived, still in time. When we entered the clinic I was almost immediately escorted (in a friendly way) to the MRI room. After some undressing (removing a bra before undergoing an MRI is a very good idea), I got to lie down on the platform after they secured a nice little contraption to my abdomen and I entered the MRI machine. No issues at all.

For reference, MRI machines are LOUD. Really, really LOUD. The whole experience is like lying in your bed, trying to sleep while you've got a techno party going on around you. For me it took about 20 minutes while a whole body scan takes about 45. I'm not sure I'd last that long.
Anyway, at some point I was released from the MRI machine and escorted back to the dressing room. After getting dressed I was taken to the waiting room, where my mother was waiting for me. A couple was sitting there as well, and we chatted a bit for the 30 minutes before I got the results. It turned out that these two people were quite familiar with Canada, especially the region I am moving to. Interesting coincidence.

So 30 minutes and some food and drinks later, my mom and I were taken to another room where a doctor was waiting for us. She showed us the MRI images, while providing explanations of what was on them. All the time before this moment I had felt half hopeful, half doubtful, so when I sat down I was bracing myself for the inevitable 'sorry, but we didn't see anything unusual' talk. The doctor started by asking me lots of questions about the nature of my intersexuality condition, then she showed the images.

I've got a vagina. An actual, physical vagina. The scans show it clearly, with it being open all the way, meaning that it is intact. It has merged at one point with part of the male side, but that's nothing which can't be corrected during surgery. I also don't have a prostate, along with some other anomalies with my male side. All very interesting, even ignoring the fact that I'm looking at images of my insides :P

So with that done, I got a CD with these images to review later and give to a surgeon. The doctor, although she is not a surgeon, told me that she thinks that there's a good chance surgery could give me a proper vagina. I really need to go find a surgeon now ;)
And then we drove home, using a really non-straight path, but we came home, in still foggy conditions (Germany had been sunny). At this point it still hasn't fully hit me what has happened.

After arriving home, I updated all my friends on the results. Absolutely fantastic to see how people respond to it, especially my bestest US friend. Yes you, you naughty girl ;)
Slowly things are beginning to sink in and right now I feel that I am changing quickly. I'll never have to doubt myself on this point ever again. I am intersexual. I can get surgery. Everything will be fine. Period.

So right now I'm exhausted. I have to get up at 6.30 AM tomorrow to travel all the way to the other side of the country to meet my grandparents, an old classmate and the Libelle forum woman who made this whole MRI scan possible. The date with the couple I mentioned is canceled, as the woman of the couple, albeit interested, wanted a more long-term relationship. I can honestly say that at this point I don't care about sex dating anymore. Doing such things for fun with friends is much more interesting anyway :)

Yes, it's rag pile time. See you zombies all tomorrow ^-^


1 comment:

grim4593 said...

Congratulations :D